Attack Of The Evil Vortex Of DOOM!
by SandCastleShadows
Summary: (AU) what can I say? My friend and I were bored and this is what ensued, Contains: Strange pairings(no slash), odd places, and my characters aren’t acting right. so, it’s funny and random- but that’s about it. Flames welcome!
1. The Beginning of DOOM

**You see what happens when Noel and I get bored? Just to let you all know, I love the teen titans- but that doesn't mean we can't spoof em!!!! Now, be prepared for randomness that follows no rhyme or reason but boredom. And our strange minds. Also- most of stories aren't…like this. They are actually pretty good. BACKGROUND: noel and beast boy are related. that is all i will say.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the teen titians, Orlando bloom, Johnny Depp, or anything else except for the plot, Noel and myself, Razz.**

RAZZ: Hello everyone! My friend and I are board- and so this story came from our boardom- warning: extreme wackiness, my not be sutible for children under three years of age! We are going to torture the titans!!! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

NOEL: I can garente that most of the ideas will be Razz's. I can't believe she dragged me into this…

RAZZ: yip! Noel is the level headed one of the two of us- me I just like being weird! And writing, and dancing, and goofing off, and hackysac, and scooping for hot boys at the mall.

NOEL: Yeah, and being weird.

RAZZ: Okay, so now that's over… VORTEX!!!!!!!!!!!

NOEL: Oh, no. Razz, I think that it is time to take the keyboard away from you. You have had enough fun for one night.

RAZZ: nope!! And now I present the vortex -swirling purple vortex of DOOM appears- through this vortex the titans will be dropped into my living room- where we will proceed to mess with their heads!

NOEL: Or in other words, modify their brains so that when we send them back to where they belong, they will do our bidding, and our every wim.

RAZZ: noel, you're scaring me. More so then usual. I LIKE IT!!!!!! –pushes button- here they come!!!!!

-titans fall onto the living room floor-

BEAST BOY: OW!!!!!!!! NOEL! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING PLAYING WITH THAT VORTEX OF DOOM!!?? AND WITH RAZZ OF ALL PEOPLE??!!??!!??!!

NOEL: -giggle and evil smirk-

RAVEN: Wow, Beast Boy used a smart word- vortex.

CYBORG: Awww man! Not Razz an Noel- they're mean!

RAZZ: We are not!

NOEL: Well, maybe a little bit.

ROBIN: Where are we?

RAZZ: In my evil lair!! –evil laugher-

NOEL: Razz, we're in your living room.

RAZZ: Shut up!

ROBIN: Noel! You shouldn't be playing with the evil vortex of DOOM!!! You could have sent us somewhere other than Razz's living room! We could have ended up in TIMBUCKTOO for all you know!!!!

NOEL: I would've said I was sorry. –downcast eyes-

RAZZ: Wait- we could've sent you to Timbucktoo? COOL!!!!!!! Lets try that –evil glint in eye-

NOEL:-Evil look at Razz- For your information, I don't want _my_ brother ending up in Timbucktoo. How would we of gotten them back?

RAZZ: Well, okay- we keep Beast Boy here and send the rest to Timbucktoo. Besides, your brother is cute.

NOEL: -cheery voice- Okay!!!!! Hold on a minute, you like my brother?

CYBORG: HAHAHAHAHA! I knew Razz had a thing for BB!!!

BB: Cyborg!!! Razz does not like me. Right Razz?

RAZZ: WRRRRRRRRONG!!!! I LOVE YOU BEAST BOY!!!!

RAVEN: Back off! He's mine!

BB: Now now ladies, there's enough Beast Boy for everybody!

NOEL: There is no logic in the universe. Now BB, if you split yourself up between Razz and Raven, there wouldn't be enough for me –throws arms around BB's neck and batts eyes- would there?

RAZZ RAVEN: O.o

RAZZ: Noel, you're not aloud to say that –pulls Noel off BB- he's your _brother_! And besides, he's _MINE_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RAVEN: NO!!!!! MINE!!!!

-and so ensues a painful tug-of-war game between Razz and Raven, with BB as the rope.-

-and suddenly, the vortex of DOOM machine goes haywire, and the six of them were transported to Timbucktoo.-

**But wait.. theres more!!!!!**


	2. Bloom, Depp and the first City of DOOM

**There is nothing to say here- but more randomness!!!!!!**

STARFIRE:-standing next to the vortex of DOOM machine with her finger on the transport button- Where did my friends go?

-back in Timbucktoo-

RAZZ: -looks around, but doesn't let go of BB- Hey, why is Terra here? And why are we in Timbucktoo?

TERRA: LET GO OF MY MAN!!!!!!!

RAZZRAVEN: HE'S MINE!!!

TERRA: -grabs Beast Boy's neck- MINE!!!

RAZZ: BITE ME, BITCH!!!!!

TERRA: -fire in her eyes- WHAT DID YOU CALL ME, WHORE?

BB: Can't we all be friends?

TERRA, RAZZ RAVEN: NO!!!!!

ROBINNOEL: -laughing-

CYBORG: Awwww man! Why do all the chicks go for BB and Robin?

EVERYONE BUT CYBORG: O.o

RAZZ: Who would fall for Robin besides Star?

ROBIN: Hey!!!

NOEL: That wasn't nice Razz. Other people besides Star may like Robin.

RAZZ: -sings- Robin and Noel sitting in a tree k-I-s-s-I-n-g first comes love then comes laughter then comes the baby in the baby carriage, that's not all, that's not all, I saw the baby drinking alchole!!!

NOEL:-if looks could kill, Razz would be dead- I HATE YOU RAZZ!!!!! CAN YOU BE ANYTHING BUT MEAN TO OTHER PEOPLE??!! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TORMENT ME LIKE THIS??!! AM I DOOMED TO SUFFER AT YOUR HANDS FOR ALWAYS AND ETERNITY??!! -sob, sniffle, turn and run.-

BB: Now look what you did!!

RAZZ: Puh-leez!!!! Drama queen. She's over reacting.

-suddenly Orlando Bloom and Johnny Dep come through the vortex of DOOM-

RAZZ: -drool- HEY NOEL!!! JOHNNY DEP IS HERE!!!!!

NOEL: You can't fool me with those lies Razz!! I am never coming back!! You have made a fool of me for the last time!! FEEL MY WRATH!!!!! –comes flying out of dead air, startling some innocent bystanders of Timbucktoo into wetting his or her pants while mindlessly running from the onslaught of Noel. She is wielding a woodened club, and wildly swinging her prehistoric weapon over her blue head. Suddenly, she spots Johnny Depp, stops dead in her tracks, and, you guessed it folks, drools -

RAZZ: Wow. Hey BB, will you go out with me?

RAVENTERRA: NO!!! HE"S MINE!!!!

BB: um, Razz, you just totally dissed my sister, no offence Robin, but you are way to out there for Noel. And Razz, I wouldn't go out with you anyway, you creep me out with your evil vortex of DOOM, and your weird.

-suddenly the vortex of DOOM opens up over BB, and sucks him up into it's black depths of DOOM.-

RAZZ, RAVEN AND TERRA: BEAST BOY!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

NOEL: Johnny Depp –drools-

RAZZ: I will save you BB! –jumps into the vortex of DOOM-

TERRARAVEN: NO!!! I WILL!!!! I AM COMING MY LOVE!!!! –both jump into the vortex of DOOM-

NOEL:-looks longingly at Johnny Depp- I guess I must go, but will you be here when I return?

DEPP: Um, sure, who are you and what have you done with my set? And why am I in Timbucktoo?

BLOOM: Maybe we should follow them into the vortex of DOOM.

DEPP: Okay –both jump into the vortex of DOOM-

ROBINCYBORG: WAIT FOR US!!!!!!!!! –jump into the vortex of DOOM-

**Yip. We aren't done yet!**


	3. Inside The Vortex Of DOOM

**MORE!!!!!**

RAZZ: -grabs Beast Boy and kisses him- I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

BB: let go…can't…breath!

NOEL: RAZZ!! Stop fondling my brother, and BB, you asked for it, and where are we going?

CYBORG: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

ROBIN: I LOVE YOU, NOEL!! –grabs Noel and kisses her-

-StarFire appears out of nowhere-

STARFIRE: Robin! why are you kissing friend Beast Boy's sister, Noel? Am I not the one you love? No, tell me it is not so, for I will surely lose my perkiness and niaveness which drives everyone insane.

RAZZ: Shut up. You stupid bitch, you talk to much anyways.

ROBIN: I'm sorry StarFire, but Noel is the blue girl of my dreams.

CYBORG: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

STARFIRE: -sniffle and melt back into the gloom of the vortex of DOOM.-

-StarFire pops back out behind Noel and, her eyes glowing a strange green, fires starbolts at Noel. Robin twirls around to take the blast, in a desperate attempt to save his beloved. But it doesn't matter; StarFire missed by ten feet-

CYBORG: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! –thud-

**MORE!!!!**


	4. Robin's Love Of DOOM

**WE MAKE NO SENCE!!!! WE ARE DRUNK OF STUTTERING CYDER!**

-the ten of them land in a big pile on the ground-

RAZZ: -looks around- We are in Sukkertoppen, Greenland.

RAVEN: How do you know?

RAZZ: Because, I'm writing the story. And that's where I decided to land.

NOEL: It's really cold, and I don't like it.

ROBIN: -takes off his cape and wraps it around Noel- Is that better my love?

NOEL: Um, sure, thanks, I think.

ROBIN: Anything for my beloved.

EVERYONE BUT ROBIN AND NOEL: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! -then proceed to scoot away in fear at the sweetness-

RAZZ: ewwww. –pulls BB into another kiss-

TERRA: NOOOO!!!!

RAVEN: I'm tired of fighting over Beast Boy. CYBORG I LOVE YOU!!!!

CYBORG: OH MY RAVEN, my true love, I thought you would never love a half robot freak like me. But I forever have held you in my heart, longing to tell you of my true feelings. Your beauty surpasses that of even Jinx's.

-Cyborg and Raven run across a field of snow in slow motion and meet in a passionate kiss-

EVERYONE ELSE: -wide eyed and very scared-

BB: Whoa, dude.

TERRA: Ya know what? I'm tired of fighting over BB, too. Razz you can have him, I'm going back to Slade.

ROBIN: -growls- Slade!

NOEL: Robin, I think we should broaden our horizons and see other people. Then, maybe, we can get back together. –pulls a remote out of her back pocket, presses the large red button on top of it- I guess I will see you again sometime.

ROBIN: NOOOOO!!!! MY LOVE!!! DON'T KILL YOURSELF FOR ME!!!! I CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT YOU!!!!!

NOEL: -gives Robin a funny look as the black vortex of DOOM opens above her. It sucks her up and closed back up immediately so that no one could follow her.-

**FA LA LA LA LA LA LA!!!!!!**


	5. Noel's First Trip Of DOOM

**Wow! Freakshilly long chappy! We didn't expect so many reviews! SHOUT OUTS!**

**DigitalGlowStick:yeppers, it is funny, this stuff happens when you stay up really late on new years- getting drunk**

**PowerDemon: Um, sorry? Not our fault.**

**Kilala63: um, ok? **

**Me: why do _we_ get all the crazy people? Glad you like it… I think**

ROBIN: My love! I cannot live without you!

RAZZ: Dude, what's with the remote? And where did she go? I can't do a Razz and Noel Story without a Noel. –pouts-

BB: My sister just disappeared!

TERRA: -went to find Slade-

STARFIRE: Do not worry, Robin my love, I will never leave you!

CYBORGRAVEN: -say nothing, they are still kissing-

RAZZ: I hate you Noel!!

SOMEWHERE FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR _FAR_ AWAY:

NOEL: Finally. Wait- I forgot Johnny. NOOOO!!!!!!

BACK IN SUKKERTOPPEN, GREENLAND:

the evil vortex of DOOM opens once again and spits Noel out-

RAZZ: Good you're back, can we please get back to what we were doing now?

NOEL: No. I just came back for Johnny.

DEPP: -sweatdrop-

BB: Noel! Don't leave me again!

RAZZ: What? Don't you love me?

NOEL: No.

BB: -looks at Razz with little hearts- Yes

NOEL: You're crazy, right?

BBRAZZ: Would ya look at the story so far?

RAZZ: Cyborg and Raven are making out in a snow bank and you're asking me if I'm crazy?

NOEL: Yeah.

BB: Ooookay.

NOEL: Well I can take all of you back with me, or only Johnny. Wait, I just remembered that this particular remote can only transport five people. So who's coming?

EVERYONE: I AM!!!

RAZZ: Me, BB, Johnny, Robin and you. There. That's the five we are taking.

TERRA: -appears from no where- Why do you get to choose who goes? And why didn't you choose me?

RAZZ: Cause im writing the story. I don't like you; Cyborg and Raven are to busy making out to have a say; Orlando is a dweeb, a hot dweeb- but a dweeb none the less. –prepares for attack from fangirls- I chose BB cause I love him, Me cause- well, duh; Johnny cause that's Noel's choice and she's the one with the remote; and Robin because he provides good comic relief. Like when he hits on Noel, it's _funny_.

NOEL: I'm writing the story too, you know. And I am the one holding the remote, so I have more control over whom goes and who stays then you do. I choose me, BB, Johnny, Terra, and Robin. So there Razz! Try to swallow that hunk of junk.

RAZZ: WTF?! You can't do that. Besides, nobody cares about you. And speaking of the remote, GIMME!!!!!!!!!!

-a visous battle follows for the remote. Noel grabs the club and smacks Razz over the head with it-

RAZZ: Oh, lookie, stars.

BB: Are you alright my love?

RAZZ: As long as you are there I will always be okay.

BB: -throws himself on Razz and pulls her into a passionate kiss-

RAZZ: -after they break the kiss for air- Wow.

NOEL: -slaps her forehead and drags hand down face- BEAST BOY!!! What would mom say if I told her that you were making out with Razz in a snow drift in Sukkertoppen, Greenland!?

-BB doesn't answer, seeing that Razz and he are lost in each other's mouths-

EVERONE: O.o ewwwwww!

RAZZ: -Breaks away from BB- a little privacy please!!!! –pulls a curtain from the air and sets it up, creating a wall of purple fabric-

RAVEN: Good idea. –pulls similar curtain out ;of the air and sets it up around herself and Cyborg.

ROBIN: -smiles and holds up his cloak, wiggling his eyes suggestfuly at Noel-

NOEL: -slowly backs away from Robin- Johnny?

DEPP: Yeah?

NOEL: SAVE ME!!!! –and ducks behind Johnny-

ROBIN: -struts up to Depp- YOU LEAVE NOEL ALONE!!! –to Noel- Come on out from behind Johnny sweet cakes, and we will have some fun.

NOEL: -squeaks and yacks on her finger-

**Ooooooo, pumpkins**


	6. Mushyness Of DOOM

**Nothing to say- went over reviews in last chappy.**

RAZZ: -looks out from behind her curtain- Hey Roooobbin! Terra loves you!

BB: -snickers-

TERRA: -has gone to find Slade-

ROBIN: -blinks- She does?

RAZZ: yep.

ROBIN: Then I must find her, for I must confess my true love for her.

NOEL: Hey! I thought I was your true love!!

EVERONE: -sweatdrop-

ROBIN: I MUST GO FIND TERRA!!! –swings his cape back on in a dramatic fashion and speeds off after Terra.

NOEL: -blinks multiple times and sniffles- But I was his true love first!! –pouts- Fine. –presses the big red button on the evil vortex of DOOM and was sucked up into it's DOOMY DOOMYNESS.

RAVEN: OOOOO, bad grammar, very bad grammar. (sound familar?)

CYBORG: Does Robin hit on every girl he sees? He isn't getting mine. –wraps Raven into his arms and pulls her back behind the curtain.-

RAZZ: He didn't hit on me.

BB: Good. If he had I would have killed him.

RAZZ: Yeah, but I'm a girl.

BB: But, you're MY girl!!!!!

EVERYONE: AWWWWWWWWWWW!

**Extreme mushyness.**


	7. SMACKs Of DOOM

**Pity me, Noel left, I'm now writing this thing entirely by myself- INCLUDING HER PART!!!!!!**

- Somewhere even farther away then before-

NOEL: Finally! I got out of writing this stupid story. Man, I thought Razz was never gonna stop typing!

-back at Suckkertoppen, Greenland-

RAZZ: -stunned- She left. How could she leave? Where did I go wrong? Why- -is cut off, BB is kissing her again-

BB: -breaks kiss- Good, now we don't have to listen to her yell at us all the time.

RAZZ: But, but, but….

-Back with Noel-

-the vortex of DOOM suddenly opens up and dumps Terra out-

NOEL: What are you doing her?

TERRA: Looking for Slade, have you seen him?

NOEL: No, but if you're here then that means... oh shit.

ROBIN: -comes dashing in and strikes a manly pose- Terra, I know you love me and I want to confess my undying love for you.

TERRA: WTF? What are you doing here? And I don't love you.

ROBIN: -tries to pull Terra into a kiss-

TERRA: -SMACKs Robin-

ROBIN: -pulls away looking hurt- ow!

NOEL: Hey!!!!!!! NOBODY DOES THAT TO _MY_ MAN!

NOEL: - SMACKs Terra, then SMACKs Robin- _I _was your true love first. Got it?

TERRA: -SMACKs Noel-

-Noel, Terra and Robin get into a SMACKing fight-

**don't ya love pointless violence?**


	8. Chris, the Kalua Seller of DOOM HBN!

Hey everyone! Here it is- in honor of Noel's birthday and the fact that I promised my good friend DigitalGlowStick (Chris) that I'd put him in the story! Here ya go Digi! SHOUT OUTS

Noel: yeah, but if you hadn't said that it just wouldn't be as funny. And it's not my fault you almost got in trouble for reading this when you should be doing your school work. So there- neener neener neener!

DigitalGlowStick: See, now you are here with us, getting drunk. Lol! Love ya, man- keep reviewing!

Disclaimer: WE ALL LOVE KALUA!!!!!!!!!!!1

-Suckkertoppen, Greenland-

RAZZ: -pacing- now, how do I write this without her? Or stuttering cider? Oh well.

-suddenly the vortex of DOOM opens up and drops a boy nearly on top of Razz-

??: Who wants some kalua?!

RAZZ: Chris! Hey! Hi! –glomps Chris-

CHRIS: Hey Razz! Ya want some kalua?

RAZZ: You're drunk.

CHRIS: Yep, ya want some?

RAZZ: GIMME THE GAWD DAMN KALUA CHRIS!!!

CHRIS: -hands Razz a bottle- geez, phyco.

RAZZ: -sings- kalua kalua I love kalua, kalua is the best for you, kalua loves you too! Kalua will kill your liver, kalua will make you drunk enough to sing and never care, kalua kalua fa la la la la la la kaaaalllllluuuuuuuaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

EVERYONE: O.o

RAVEN: Who the fuck are you?

CHRIS: My name is Chris. I'm 15 years old. I am a psyco pyro. And I sell Kalua and believe that you have never lived unless your blood alchohol level isn't constantly above the limit. I'm Razz's friend. And I have an undying love for Kalua!!!!

BB: -hugs Razz protectively-

RAZZ: -GASP!- I almost forgot (not) hey Chris can you bring Noel here?

CHRIS: Yip.

–suddenly Noel, Robin and Terra are carried in on a gust of really strong wind, The trio has various SMAK marks all over their faces. And Noel and Terra are desperately fighting the gale in an attempt to kill the other one by drowning her in a vat of banana pudding-

EVERYONE: ??

RAZZ: -shrugs and nudges Chris, whispers- Ready?

CHRIS: -whispers back- ready for what?

RAZZ: -Takes a deep breath and belts- HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU –Chris catches on quickly and joins in. drunkenly I might add- HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! –everyone else is a bit slower then Chris and just now catches on, they begin to sing- HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR NOOOOELLLLLLL HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! AND MANY MORE ON CHANNEL 4 AND SCOOBY DOO ON CHANNEL 2 AND FRANKENSTIEN ON CHANNEL 9 AND THE FAT LADY ON CHANNEL 80!!!!!

NOEL: -goes all teary eyed- WTF? My birthday isn't for 5 more days stupid.

RAZZ/CHRIS: -shrugs-

RAZZ: Yeah, but this is part of your present

NOEL: PRESENT!!!!! –drools-

RAZZ: Hey Chris.

CHRIS: Yeah?

RAZZ: I have to end this chappy now, but before I do- GIVE ME SOME MORE FUCKIN KALUA!!!!!!! –snaches a bottle-

CHRIS: -holds hands up- Please don't kill me, I'm to young to die, think off the things I haven't done. THINK OF ALL THE KALUA I HAVEN'T DRUNKEN!!!!

LINNSEY: -appears out of no where- you have some the worst grammer in this story I have ever seen. –dissapears-

EVERYONE: -shrugs then waves to you (the reader)- REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!


	9. Cyborgs Outburst Of DOOM!

**Wow, this is possibly the most fucked up chapter in the history of…ever. Shout outs**:

**Digi: Of course your in the fic, silly. Your kewl!**

**Linnsey003: Yes Linnsey, I have bad grammer, glad I made you laugh though!**

**Inu-haynou/raven: Wow. I have nothing to say to you. But thanks.**

**Noel: Hey Noel! I know, I wish you could be back with me to help me write the story again too. Miss you, but I'm glad you like it.**

**Disclaimer: Bright Eyes: he's cute. But he cant sing to save his life. **

NOEL: Hey Razz, who is this guy? –points to Chris-

RAZZ: Chris? This is Chris. And Chris is his name. And his name shall be Chris and Chris shall keep the name Chris forever because it is his name and his name is Chris. Chris being the name which is Chris's and-

CHRS-slaps hand over Razz's mouth- Hi! My name is Chris. I'm 15 years old. I am a psyco pyro. And I sell Kalua and believe that you have never lived unless your blood alchohol level isn't constantly above the limit. I'm Razz's friend. Oh, and if you didn't realize it before now, I can control the wind.

NOEL: Oh. Where's Johnny?

DEPP: Um, who are you again?

NOEL-drools-

CHRIS-hands Razz a bottle of Kalua- So what's going on now?

RAZZ: I don't know. I'm out of ideas.

EVERYBODY-stops what their doing and stares at Razz-

RAZZ: What? I'm sick! As in "I think I need to go talk to Ralph on the big white phone" sick!

EVERYBODY: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

CYBORG-is suddenly up in your face staring at you- THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS! RAZZ SICK! AND SHE'S OUT OF IDEAS! THE SKY HAS TURNED AN UNHEALTHY SHADE OF PURPLE AND IS FALLING; DRACULA JUST ORDERED A GARLIC PIZZA; THE LOCH NESS MONSTER AND BIGFOOT HAVE TEAMED UP WITH THE SIX TOED MARYILIN MONROE AND HER ARMY OF RADIO-ACTIVE SQUIRRLS TO TAKE OVER LUKE SKYWALKER AND JIM CAREY'S TV SET! YODA IS NOW TALKING LIKE A NORMAL PERSON AND THE YETI IS CURRENTLY IN NEWPORT TRYING ON SHOES! MCDONALD'S IS GOING OUT OF BUISNESS AND JAPAN IS BEING EATEN BY A VERY HUNGERY SEAMONSTER. GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD PEOPLE! THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS 'TUSEDAY' AND NORTH DAKOTA IS A MYTH! 'BLUE' IS NOT A COLOR IT IS A VERB AND IF YOU PUT AN ACTIVE GRINADE DOWN YOUR PANTS THEN IT WILL TURN INTO A PINATA AND YOU HIT WITH YOUR BROTHERS PINA COLATA CANDY CANE! APPERNTLY THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS 'FEET' 'PENCILS' OR 'A HARE'! AND DOES ANYONE REALLY CARE IF TUESDAY IS NOW THE MOST FUN DAY OF THE WEEK ACCORDING TO DANATOS? TUESDAY DOESN'T EVEN EXSIST! WE HAVE AGREED THAT DECAPITATING SOMEONE WITH A SHOVEL SOUNDS LIKE FUN AND -takes a gasp for breath, ignoring the frightened stares from everyone else, especially the author is contemplating what the fuck she is typing- DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK THAT DIET CHERRY VANILLA DOCTOR PEPPER IS TO LONG OF A POP NAME? POODLES ARE EVIL AND SHOULD BE WIPED OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH WITH TOILET PAPER; TERRA IS A STUPID FUCKIN BITCH WHO'S LIFES AMBITION IS TO BREAK BB'S HEART AS MANY TIMES AS SHE CAN IN ONE BREATH!

TERRA: Hey!

CYBORG: POPCORN AND POLYESTER IS AS GOOD AS ANY CHEESEBURGER AND WHEN YOU MIX KALUA WITH VODKA WHAT DO YOU GET? IF AN ORANGE IS ORANGE WHY ISN'T AN APPLE RED? THERE IS NO EGG IN EGGPLANT NOR HAM IN HAMBURGER; NEITHER APPLE NOR PINE IN PINEAPPLE. ENGLISH MUFFINS WEREN'T INVENTED IN ENGLAND OR FRENCH FRIES IN FRANCE. SWEETMEATS ARE CANDIES WHILE SWEETBREADS, WHICH AREN'T SWEET, ARE MEATS. QUICKSAND WORKS SLOWLY, BOXING RINGS ARE SQUARE AND A GUINEA PIG IS NEITHER FROM GUINEA NOR IS IT A PIG. AND WHY IS IT THAT WRITERS WRITE BUT FINGERS DON'T FING, GROCERS DON'T GROCE AND HAMMERS DON'T HAM?

IF THE PLURAL OF TOOTH IS TEETH, WHY ISN'T THE PLURAL OF BOOTH BEETH? ONE GOOSE, TWO GEESE. SO ONE MOOSE, TWO MEESE? IF YOU HAVE A BUNCH OF ODDS AND ENDS AND GET RID OF ALL BUT ONE OF THEM, WHAT DO YOU CALL IT? IS IT AN ODD, OR AN END?  
IF TEACHERS TAUGHT, WHY DIDN'T PREACHERS PRAUGHT? IF A VEGETARIAN EATS VEGETABLES, WHAT DOES A HUMANITARIAN EAT? IN WHAT LANGUAGE DO PEOPLE RECITE AT A PLAY AND PLAY AT A RECITAL? SHIP BY TRUCK AND SEND CARGO BY SHIP?  
HAVE NOSES THAT RUN AND FEET THAT SMELL?  
HOW CAN A SLIM CHANCE AND A FAT CHANCE BE THE SAME, WHILE A WISE MAN AND A WISE GUY ARE OPPOSITES?  
YOU HAVE TO MARVEL AT THE UNIQUE LUNACY OF A LANGUAGE IN WHICH YOUR HOUSE CAN BURN UP AS IT BURNS DOWN, IN WHICH YOU FILL IN A FORM BY FILLING IT OUT, AND IN WHICH, AN ALARM GOES OFF BY GOING ON.

OUR ENGLISH LANGUAGE WAS INVENTED BY PEOPLE, NOT COMPUTERS! AND IT REFLECTS THE CREATIVITY OF THE HUMAN RACE, WHICH, OF COURSE, IS NOT A RACE AT ALL. THAT IS WHY, WHEN THE STARS ARE OUT, THEY ARE VISIBLE, BUT WHEN THE LIGHTS ARE OUT, THEY ARE INVISIBLE.

BB-shakily- is he done?

CHRIS-anime like: eyes bugged out, looks REALLY scared, he takes a swig of kalua- Wow, Razz, I've never seen this side of you before.

RAZZ-even more scared- Me neither.

NOEL: She did all that without me. Whoa

CYBORG: PS- WHY DOESN'T BUICK RHYME WITH QUICK? WHY DO WE PARK IN THE DRIVEWAY AND DRIVE ON THE PARKWAY?

NOEL: Well, glad this chapter is over. Tune in next time, we'll have a guest- Linnsey! REVIEW NOW OR I SHALL SMACK YOU WITH MY CLUB!

REVIEW

RAZZ: I didn't even know I could do something that fucked up. OH WELL! REVIEW!

**There is nothing to say to this.**


End file.
